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Showing posts with label Maia Jacomus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maia Jacomus. Show all posts

Why I Began the End

Why I Began the End
Maia Jacomus

Why I Began the End


It was funny for maybe the first four days. Then it declined into banality.

Every time I entered that meadhouse, nearly every Aesir would be there, laughing and throwing whatever they could grab at Baldur. The Shining Boy himself would just sit at his usual table, drinking a pint of mead, every now and then forcing a chuckle to pretend he was alright with things constantly barraging him. He was a bright lad; had a lot of interesting things to say, when given the chance. But rising to speak to someone would only present more of a target, and before he could get even two words out, a sword blade would ricochet off him, fly across the room, and strike the doorframe. I’d asked his mother Frigg about it one day. Of course, I knew she would never tell me anything, so I changed myself into an old woman.

“You certainly have a hale son,” I said, my voice cracking. “How does he stay so strong and healthy?”

Frigg smiled with that motherly pride and said, “I worried about him when he was born, so I went all over the world and asked everything in turn to vow not to harm him.”

“Gracious, what a task! Everything?”

She nodded. “Everything.”

“The thunderbolt and the thistle? And plague and disease, too?”

“Of course.” She shrugged slightly. “Well, I did not make the mistletoe vow. It is too young to understand what I was asking of it. But we have no reason to fear the mistletoe.”

* * *


I used to talk with him. I’d wait for an opening in the shower of projectiles and jump to a seat next to him. “Loki,” he’d say to me, “thank you on behalf on my sanity.” But too many aims for him have struck me, and no object in all of Yggdrasil would vow not to harm me, even by Freyja’s appeal. So I mostly hung on the doorway, a literal fly on the wall as the Aesir find constant amusement in hurling various implements at Odin’s son.

I had a scheme one day. You see, the one event that was the highlight of this idiocy was when Thor would come in with his hammer—excuse me, Mjolnir (What kind of a jerk names a hammer, anyway?)—and hurl it at Baldur, and it would strike the boy without a flinch. Baldur’s told me he could tell when Thor threw his hammer at him—not because he really felt it, but because that’s when the laughter in the room would erupt to its fullest. At first, my scheme was just a musing that came to mind while watching the senseless act; I thought How hilarious would it be for Thor to reach for his hammer to chuck at Baldur, only to find that it was gone. I bet the whole room would fall dead silent, and Thor’s cow-face would turn purple. It made me laugh to think of it; the first time in a long time my laughter rang in that room. But then I realized that it could just be the perfect solution—Thor may accuse anyone or everyone in the room of being the thief; no one would show their face in that meadhouse until the Thunder God was satiated again. Baldur could finally have some peace, and I could have a fine joke.

The execution was difficult. I only had between the time that Thor entered until the time he sat down to steal the hammer, and not just to prevent his throwing the thing, but also because he would usually have the hammer shrink to fit in his tunic pocket; no way I’d be able to lift the Crusher in its full size. I began as a mouse. To save time, I climbed up and sat myself on the inside door handle, so that when Thor swung open the door and shut it closed behind him—me with a death grip on the handle so I didn’t fly off—I jumped from the handle and grabbed hold of his belt. Hanging off his belt, I sidled over and swung into his tunic pocket, hitting my nose on the hammer. I opened my little rat mouth as wide as I could and clamped onto the hammer’s pommel, pulling it out of the pocket. I fell to the floor, the then-small hammer falling with me and striking my skull. Then it started to grow. I formed into a cat to carry the hammer in my jaws, moving silently to the door, weaving between legs and under tables. The hammer became too large and heavy, so I formed into a dog. I lasted until I reached the closed door—a dead end. My only choice was forming back into myself, still on all fours, to reach up and open the door, lugging the hammer out after me. I’d made it outside just in time, because I couldn’t even drag the hammer behind me anymore. But my task still wasn’t over—any minute, Thor would sit down and find out his “Mjolnir” was gone, and I’d be stuck in his warpath.

That giant oaf Thrymr came lumbering down toward the meadhouse just then. My initial instinct was to stick out my foot and trip him as I usually did, but I thought the better of it and instead formed into a likeness of Freyja with her long blonde hair and blue eyes, the likes of which I knew Thrymr never could resist. I stuck my foot as far under the hammer’s handle as I could and groaned in agony. I felt the ground shake beneath me as the dolt ran over to where I was lying. He didn’t say anything—I doubt his brain was working fast enough to find some words—he just smiled his half-toothed grin at me as he lifted up the hammer to “rescue” me.

The door to the meadhouse burst open as a swarm of people streaked out, shouting and scrambling—Thor’s roar from within drowned them all out. I formed into my own shape and joined the masses, able to escape the easily-confounded Thrymr, unwilling to stay and watch things unfold.

My scheme worked—every day after, as soon as Thor stormed into the meadhouse, all others would clear out. I would come from my place by the wall to sit and talk with Baldur, enjoying some intelligent conversation without risk. All Thor would do was stare at the walls and down pints of mead. Some days, I swear I heard the walls shudder at the pressure. One day, he even growled in reply. I laughed to myself and asked him, “No luck yet?”

He just shook his boarish head and downed an entire pint of mead in one gulp, never breaking his glare from the walls.

* * *


Everything was good. So of course, it couldn’t last. Odin called me to a council of the Aesir. They put me at the end of the table so that everyone could stare me down at once while he said, “You, Loki, will retrieve Mjolnir.”

I just shrugged and rested my feet up on the table. “Why me? Why not get He-of-the-Thundrous-Wrath to get his own hammer back?”

Thor was still seething too much to form his own words. Odin answered for him: “Because while Thrymr has Mjolnir, he can easily overtake Thor.”

I scoffed. “Without his hammer, Thor’s got nothing below the belt?”

Thor threw a small tantrum by striking his hand on the table, echoing a thunderclap. “I could snap you in half, little flea!”

“When has anyone ever snapped a flea in half? I think you’re wearing your helmet too tight again.”

Thor was about to spring for me—I could see him start—but he just clenched his fist and grit his teeth, and that was it.

Odin said, “As Thrymr cannot be taken by force, he must be taken by wit.” I think he saw me open my mouth to retort, because he struggled to continue: “Which, that means, as you are, though at times the most vexing creature, you are clever.”

I nodded and rose to my feet. “Great. We all agree that I’m clever. Glad we got that settled.” I started to leave, but Freyja pushed me back into my chair.

“We aren’t finished with you,” she said.

I smirked and leaned in to say, “I’ll slip under the table if you want to finish me yourself.”

She struck me across the face so hard that I involuntarily formed into a beetle, stuck lying on my back with my legs scurrying in the air, unable to turn myself over. When I formed back into myself, everyone at the table was practically breathless with laughter. I rolled my eyes and composed myself on my chair.

What?” I asked.

Odin brought everyone back on topic: “Loki, you will do whatever you can to bring Mjolnir back to Thor.”

“No,” I said. “Let the oaf keep it; he needs it for teething.”

Many at the table began talking at once, scolding me. Odin held up his hand, and they quieted. “You will do whatever you can to bring Mjolnir back to Thor. If not, then Thor will be using you for pounding.”

I nodded; the threat was easy to understand. As I left, I added, “You should be glad, Odin, that Mjolnir vowed not to harm your son. Its owner should have vowed the same.”

Thrymr was at his mountaintop home; rather, the jagged assembly of rock and dirt that he called a home. For the first few days, I just monitored him, formed either as a lizard or a fly. He never, for a second, let the hammer fall from his fist, even after accidentally hitting himself in the head when he reached to scratch his bald scalp. As such, there was no chance of stealing it from him. So I decided to present myself to him, in my natural form, to talk to the dimwit.

“Impressive,” was my first word, which caught his attention. “How did you ever manage to steal Thor’s hammer?”

He chuckled deep from his throat. “Loki the Smart One wants to hear how I did it?”

“Yes; Loki the Smart One is very interested.”

He cleared his throat and said, “I picked it up off the ground.”

“That is impressive. And I’m sure Freyja would be impressed, too. You should tell her about it—Wait, an even better thought: you should give her the hammer. I’m sure she would be greatly impressed.”

“Yes! I’ll do it! I’ll give her the hammer!”

“Great idea!”

“...after she marries me!”

I coughed on my premature triumphant laughter. “What was that?”

“You bring her here to marry me, and I will give her the hammer as a wedding gift!”

And once he got that idea, there was no other way of even tricking the hammer from him; he wouldn’t let it go for anyone but Freyja. So I weighed my options: get pounded by the Thunder God, or get slapped around by Freyja. I decided the latter would be at least marginally enjoyable, so I went to speak with the goddess.

* * *


What?

That first shriek wasn’t very inspiring of success.

I tried to remain calm. “The only way he’ll give up the hammer is if you marry him.”

“I am no trollop or bawd!” she cried furiously. “I will not be given over to some monster in exchange for a toy! If my husband were here, he would strike you through to Hel for suggesting it!”

“But you wouldn’t?”

Her lips curled into a snarl as her fingers curled into claws. I didn’t stay for further development—I formed into a stag and ran from her house with the greatest leaps I could manage and didn’t stop until my stag form tired and reverted back to myself. All that running did me some good, though; it gave me time to figure out a way to make things work.

* * *


I waited in the meadhouse for Thor. By then, people had stopped coming altogether, all except for Baldur, who wisely took advantage of the peace and quiet. He actually heard me when I walked in, and turned his head and waved. He always had his own natural glow about him, but in the solitude, it was even brighter.

“I’ve been keeping a pint chilled for you, Loki,” he said, sliding the mug my way.

I sat down across from him and took a swig. “It tastes better in the silence.”

For the first time in ages, Baldur actually chuckled. “It really does.” He took a swig himself and sighed with a smile. “Mother’s been especially glad. Though she knows I can’t get hurt, all the commotion was making her uneasy.”

“I wouldn’t imagine any parent would enjoy seeing their child consistently pelted with weapons.” I started laughing as I remembered something. “You know Fenrir broke out again?”

“Really?”

I was laughing so hard I could hardly speak. I took a swig of mead to settle myself. “They made stronger iron chains, but he still broke out of them like nothing. And...” My laughter was starting to infect Baldur as well. “And Jormungandr, he scared the life out of Thor’s fishing comrade. They were setting out in the boat, catching...well, Thor said he caught about fifty whales, you know him...But then he actually hooked Jor, and...”

At that moment, Thor flung open the door, right on time, and took his usual seat to glare into the abyss. I gave Baldur a wink to clue him in on the fact that the following conversation would be staged, and I didn’t actually intend him to take it sincerely.

I began speaking nice and loudly: “...and that’s why I need you, Baldur. You’re the only one who can do it...No, I promise, this plan is fail-proof. We could absolutely get Mjolnir back from that Thrymr.”

Even out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Thor’s coal-eyes light up. He brought his mug over to join us. “You got a plan?” he asked eagerly.

“Yes...” I said, waving him off, “but it’s no concern of yours; you’re not involved.”

“I want to know what it is!” he demanded, slamming his mug on the tabletop.

“I can’t tell you, friend. I can’t compromise the success of this plan by divulging it to outsiders.”

“Come on! I told you my fishing story! And this is my hammer we’re talking about!”

I folded my arms to feign resolve. “The only way I’ll tell you is if you agree to take part in it. Otherwise, I’ll bring Odin’s son into the fray. After all, he is invincible.”

“I’m not afraid of Thrymr, that great clod. Tell me, and exchange me for Baldur!”

Baldur just watched all that happened with his chin resting on his hand. Thor seemed to really notice him for the first time, because he blinked definitively looking over at him.

“Hello, there,” Thor said to him.

Baldur smiled and waved somewhat awkwardly.

Thor pat him on the back. “You’re a good lad, you know.” He then leaned in as though to talk to him confidentially, although it was obvious he wanted me to hear. “Would you believe this lunkhead Loki? I know he’s working me; he’s got some scheme up his sleeves and wants to drag me into it. I like to let him think he’s got the edge, though; let him feel like he’s in charge. Makes it all the more fun when things backfire on him.”

I snidely retorted, “Your sentiment is overwhelming, dear friend. Are you in or out?”

“Well,” he began, rising to his feet, “I’m certainly not going to let you hang around here to poison the Golden Boy’s mind. Let’s get out of here, leave him to his own thoughts.”

Baldur smiled and raised his mug to us. “I wish you both luck.”

* * *


I shaved off Thor’s moustache while he slept. He’d ranted and raved the entire day before, refusing to do it, even though I explained time and again that it was essential to the scheme. Despite the rage the morning after, that wasn’t the most difficult task in getting things underway. I had to creep into Freyja’s home in the form of a rat and steal into her bedchamber to steal her distinctive necklace Brisingamen, which she wore at all times (Yes, her necklace had a name. The Aesir and Vanir have peculiar attachments to their material belongings). As I came close to where she slept, I formed into myself—and she stirred. I immediately formed into the likeness of her ever-distant husband. Her eyes opened completely, and she smiled. In spite of myself, I momentarily forgot my scheme—she had never smiled at me before.

“My husband!”

I snapped back into the scheme.

“Do I dream, or have you finally returned to me?”

“This is just a dream.” I made my voice somewhat hypnotic.

Her smile diminished. “Why do you torture me with your image?”

“I am only here as a reminder: no matter how far I am from you, we have each other in our dreams.” It took all I could muster to not wince at such sentimentality.

“You are right, my love. But before I depart from this dream, let me have a kiss.”

I swallowed a laugh and felt all the blood rush to my face. After all, this did work toward my goal. So as I leaned in and touched my lips to hers, I carefully unfastened the necklace from her neck, hastily hiding it behind my back. As she had closed her eyes for the kiss, she slipped off back to sleep before I had even backed off myself. I fled from her home as fast as I could to unleash the laughter that had been building up inside me—I laugh even now just thinking about it. But no matter how fine a joke it was, I couldn’t tell anyone—Freyja would have punched my tongue into my throat if she ever happened to find out.

Though that hardly seems to matter now.

* * *


By the time I returned to Thor, his wrath over his shaved moustache had subsided.

“I just don’t understand,” he said, “why you can’t just turn yourself into Freyja.”

“Thrymr specifically requested I present the bride,” I said. “And if you want to be the one to pound him into the ground, it’s the only way you’ll be able to get close enough to do it. And...” I stood back and looked at him, dressed in the specially-tailored white gown, and laughed, “...this is just about my finest joke yet.”

He merely shook his head and grumbled, “Why Odin ever became your blood brother, I’ll never know.”

“You may well ask the same of your friendship with me.”

“I would stand against the greatest monster with you, but I would never spill my blood for you.”

“And that is exactly how I feel about you, friend. Now, come. The sooner we get there, the sooner you can strike down the oaf.”

Scaling up the mountainside, we came upon Thrymr using the hammer to smash a spider than had crawled too close. I saw the bride-guise Thor wince at the misuse of his precious tool, and I elbowed him to make sure he maintained composure. Thrymr saw the white-clad figure before him with the blonde flowing hair and the signature necklace, and it was enough to break out his few green teeth.

“Freyja has come to marry me!” he bellowed. “Quick, prepare the wedding feast! First, we feast, then we marry!”

Thor was bid to sit next to him, and I next to Thor. The oaf mostly seemed to forget I was there at all; I began to think that had I been Freyja and Thor came in all his Thunder God glory, the oaf wouldn’t have seen the striker at all. But of course I said nothing of it as Thrymr proceeded to swoon over his sturdy bride, who was engorging his food like a starving dog. I noted—as did Thrymr—that Thor ate an entire ox-worth of beef, an entire stream-worth of salmon, and downed five casks of mead.

“You have a hearty appetite,” Thrymr remarked to his bride.

“She is anxious for her wedding,” I said. “The faster the food is eaten, the faster the ceremony will come.”

Thrymr liked this response, and began eating as ravenously as his bride. I almost thought to hide under the table to avoid the mess they created, but it was all over in a swift blur. Then, almost as swiftly, Thrymr had all his kin assembled to begin the ceremony.

“To wed the fairest Freyja,” he said, “I give this gift as a token of my love.”

He presented Mjolnir to his bride, who took it with a mounting grin.

“Hold on...” I said, approaching Thor from behind. “Don’t want any blood on the necklace.” I removed the necklace and pocketed it, then backed away. “Go ahead.”

I didn’t stay for what followed; in short, Thor eradicated Thrymr and the whole of his clan. Meanwhile, I thought to return the necklace to its rightful owner. Of course, that idea was short-lived. By then, Freyja had probably found out it was missing; if I had been the one to return it, she would have torn me limb from limb and scattered my remains throughout Yggdrasil. I had first thought to give it to my wife, but Freyja could have torn her apart if she ever saw it on her. So I decided to give it to my daughter Hel—no one would stand up against her.

I never made it to Hel. I was felled to the ground by something I didn’t even know was there until I was looking up from flat on my back—it was Heimdallr. That sneak could smell a fire before it burned, and could hear the flints strike together from ten miles away. He looked down at me with one of his smug grins—they came easily to him.

“I’m here to retrieve Brisingamen,” he said.

“No kidding,” I said. “I’d always told you, Freyja, if you keep raging like a man, you’ll eventually turn into one.”

“You’re a funny one, Loki. Let’s see how funny you are with your legs wrapped around your neck.”

I smirked. “Oh, come on, there’s no need for that. If Freyja wants her pet hunk of metal back, then take it.” I took it from my pocket and tossed it up to him.

He nodded, as if somewhat amused. “I’m a little disappointed, Loki. I was rather looking forward to having it out with you.”

“Good things come to those who wait, Ram Boy. Wouldn’t you rather it were over something more than a glittering trinket?”

He seemed to agree, because he didn’t stay to try to stir up a fight; he left immediately to return the necklace. I remained lying on the ground awhile, somehow stuck in the thought of the two of us battling—I was almost disappointed myself, but I had the feeling we’d get another opportunity.

* * *


I walked into the meadhouse for the first time after the return of Mjolnir to its proper hand. Unfortunately, everything had returned to normal. The crowds reconvened to hurl objects at Baldur, who was then sitting with his back to the room. Thor entered just after, and everyone paused, waiting for him to throw his hammer. But he merely sat, regarded my displeased countenance and how Baldur was hiding in shadow, and ordered a pint, keeping his hammer in its pocket. Although this development was a step in the right direction, no one else picked up any cues, but rather picked up empty mugs to throw at Baldur. I finally reached my limit.

“HAVEN’T YOU HAD ENOUGH?” My voice rang through louder than their asinine laughter, and all their attention was turned to me. “Yes, Baldur is invulnerable, we get it! Don’t you have anything better to do, like diving off a jagged cliffside?!”

To my surprise, they began laughing at me.

“Poor little Loki wants attention!” one cried, as though cooing at a baby.

“Loki the Great Buffoon is jealous!” another cried.

They all began shouting similar things all at once. I merely glared at them all and left. Not five steps out, I turned back and looked through the window—they had commenced their game of striking Baldur. Thor came out the door, following me.

“I can’t think why I ever went there,” he told me, looking back through the window with almost as much disgust as myself.

“I think it’s time for a change,” I decided. “A real change.”

* * *


I didn’t want it done by my hand, though it had to be done. I twined the sprig of mistletoe around a dart so that it would fly properly, making sure that the sprig’s tip met with the dart’s point. I had the idea to bring Baldur’s half-brother Hodur with me to the meadhouse that day; I’d found him wandering at the bottom of the hill, and thought he’d be perfect. I led him in by the arm and described the scene to him.

“Everyone’s throwing things at your brother,” I told him. “It all bounces right off him—it’s amazing to see. You should throw something, too.”

“I don’t have anything to throw,” he said.

“Here, you can borrow my dart.” I took the mistletoe dart from my pocket and positioned it in his hand. “I’ll help you aim. Just...there. Now, throw!”

The dart flew straight, directed at Baldur’s back. But at that same time, someone else had slung a rock; it nicked the tip of the dart, redirecting it to the base of Baldur’s head. There it pierced him, and there his red blood flowed down as he slumped forward in his seat. Silence fell; even the air felt still.

“What’s happened?” Hodur whispered.

“Baldur’s been slain,” I said; everyone in the room could hear my words. “He was slain by your hand.”

Hodur’s lips quivered and his voice choked, “N-no! No! It was your dart, Loki, you guided my hand!”

Considering all they had thought of me before, everyone was quick to believe the blind man’s accusation. They all yelled and shouted, setting upon me at once. Thor was at the head of them, his hammer raised. I didn’t budge—didn’t flinch. He halted when he reached me, his hammer suspended in the air, the crowd behind him encouraging him to lay the blow. But the crowd silenced as he grit his teeth and slowly lowered the hammer.

“We will pass him on to Odin’s judgement,” he told the crowd.

The crowd muttered mixed feelings about his decision—after all, I’ve told you how much they liked throwing things.

* * *


The council of Aesir and Vanir assembled with alarming speed. Once again, I was put at the head of the table, able to bear the glares of all seated—especially Odin, who sat across at the other end. Several at once asked me why I had done it. I just shrugged and said:

“I thought it would be funny, having the indestructible Baldur killed by his blind brother. It’s ironic—it’s funny. I’m surprised none of you were amused; you laughed every day at the meadhouse.”

They all fell silent and just stared at me, gobsmacked. Sure, this was a rather heinous crime committed in their eyes, but I was rather surprised at their astonishment—it was me. Did they not know me at all? Did they really think even I would be too far above this low act?

I finally had to be the one to break the silence: “What?”

Odin was beyond telling—he didn’t look angry, upset, shaming...His look was completely void. “I will deal you a punishment later,” he said. Even his voice was void, perfectly level. “For now, there must be a way to remedy this. We will appeal to Hel for Baldur’s release from the Underworld.”

How Hel dealt with this was masterful—a messenger went to her from Odin and appealed for Baldur’s release. I believe she must have known about my involvement in the lad’s death, because her answer both appeased the Aesir and assisted my cause: the messenger reported to the council that Hel promised to release Baldur if all of creation, if all the world wept for his death. It was rather a strange thing to hear all the world mourning at once: it began low and soft down the valleys, then rose high and booming up the mountains and through the lands of the Aesir and Vanir. But as the whole world—and the council around me—shuddered and wept, I remained silent, my legs resting on the table, waiting for them all to calm. One thing that struck me, one thing that for a moment made me choke, was the sight of Odin shedding tears. While he did, he looked straight at me; I couldn’t tell if he was waiting for me to follow suit, or...But no one would; no one betrayed by me has ever shed a tear over the betrayal; no one would, least of all Odin. I remained steadfast, my jaw set, my brow severe.

After all the world seemed dried up of tears, it was determined that Baldur could not be released, because I didn’t weep for his death.

* * *


What followed, I don’t often repeat, though it plays in mind continuously.

The council was both repulsed and infuriated. Odin silenced them all by rapping his knuckles on the table surface; he once again regarded me with his void.

“Bring Narfi and Vali,” he commanded to one of his servants.

I didn’t move a single muscle—those were the names of my two youngest sons. Any normal person would reason to directly punish he who committed the crime, but I knew full well that, like myself, my blood-brother Odin was not of a normal turn of mind.

Narfi and Vali were brought in. Odin ordered for them to stand before him, side-by-side. He then entwined his arms in the air, mumbling something, then thrust his hands out at Vali. Fur rapidly sprouted from Vali’s body, and his teeth grew into fangs. Despite myself, I abruptly rose from my chair. Vali was transformed completely into a wolf, drooling and snarling ravenously. His first sight was his brother Narfi, and no longer knowing his brother, he pounced. I ran forward, but several Aesir rose to hold me back—I didn’t look at what Vali proceeded to do; my sights were on Odin.

“IT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED!” I shouted; my voice was hoarse with as hard and loud as I was shouting. “You wanted your son to live, you wanted him protected, and that’s what I did! He couldn’t live with people throwing swords at him every day, like a mob throwing stones at some damned thief! He couldn’t live, so I protected him; I sent him away; and he’s better off! And as your father, you should have been the one to do something; you should have been the one to tell that damned mob to stop!”

I honestly can’t remember what else I said; I just remember shouting. I couldn’t see what had become of my two sons. I was bound in iron fetters—at least, they seemed like iron at the time. They had to drag me down, all the way down to the underworld, and chained my fetters to three rocks (which, yes, the idiots named those, too). As a final touch, they positioned this snake right over my head, dripping this searing venom onto my face.

* * *


I’ve numbed since then; I think you’ve noticed. I’ve stopped shouting, stopped struggling, stopped scowling. That has much to do with you, Sigyn; thank you on behalf of my sanity. But admittedly, it also has greatly to do with what I’m sure is to come. I won’t be strapped to these rocks forever, regardless of whatever ridiculous names they were given. You and I; we’ll both get out someday, and Odin and Heimdallr and Thor and all the Aesir and Vanir will get a reckoning from me and my children who still live. Then maybe, after it’s all through, the world will have gone through a great change. Maybe, then, it will actually be suitable and deserving of people like Baldur.

And that is why.

* * *


Maia Jacomus is 24 years old, and works as a freelance copy editor for fiction and nonfiction. She enjoys writing poetry, short stories, novellas, novels and plays. Some of her favorite authors are Jane Austen, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Gail Carson Levine, Tamora Pierce, and William Shakespeare. Aside from reading and writing, her hobbies include painting, playing Nintendo and World of Warcraft, and theatre.

Where do you get the ideas for your stories?

Ideas for my stories come from everywhere, and most of the time, when I’m not looking for them. My inspiration for “Empress Regnant,” for example, came from watching the smoke rise from my incense burner. Sometimes, I also like to listen to instrumental music and conjure a story from the mood and rhythm of the music.

Star Weaver

Star Weaver
by Maia Jacomus

Star Weaver


It was late one day in summer
In the middle of the meadow
In the midst of tall green grasses
In a glaze of sunlight yellow
In the camp where yearly passes
Fervent beats of steady drummers
When Hokulani wove the stars.

She gathered all of nature’s silk
From all cocoons abandoned long,
And with her fingers rolled them fine
While singing softly summer’s song,
Until the silk to thread did twine
As smooth and white as cattle milk
To wind around the shuttle rod.

She strung the loom with hemp-plait strands,
The loom of iv’ry deer bone made,
Of sacred deer the spirits blessed
When all the tribe to them had prayed
That night their chief was put to rest
By warring neighbors’ evil hands--
The tribe of Mana from the east.

Then Hokulani tied a knot,
The knot that soon would be a star--
The antler point upon a stag,
A guard for peace to shine afar--
For this she made the shuttle drag
Across the loom to join each dot,
But only during nightly hour.

She fell asleep, and when she rose,
The loom was gone from where it sat;
A hunter of the tribe, her friend,
Had found a feather on the mat,
A black-hue feather of the trend
Of Mana hunters prizing crows,
As Ikaika knew too well.

That night, they saw up in the sky
A pattern new with fire bright
In stars that shaped a beast of war:
A vicious bull with vicious eye,
With sturdy feet and horns of might
That struck into their very core
The deepest fear and darkest doom.

The woe that came with morning shine
Was brought by horrors that they saw:
Their crops were dry and brown and dead,
No water from the well would draw,
Mosquitos plagued each tribal head,
And dead cattle numbered nine.
The warriors fell sick with pain.

But Ikaika knew the way
To find the Mana to the east
And Hokulani followed him
Beneath the gaze of dreaded beast
Into a forest ghostly dim
With rustling branches bent to sway
In howling winds which whipped their skin.

A wolf attacked them in their path
With teeth displayed and claws full bared
But Ikaika’s arrow shot
To pierce its leg, and thus impaired,
The wolf escaped with limping trot,
The pain abating all its wrath.
In safety, they traversed the wood.

They climbed along a mountain steep
Where caverns leaked with water pools,
But as they knelt to get a drink,
A bear appeared with growling cruel;
But Ikaika did not shrink,
And plunged his dagger in it deep
Until it moaned and ran away.

Into a valley low they came
Into tall grasses swaying slow
In which a lion crouched in wait
And kept its yellow eyes down low,
But Ikaika knew to bait
The creature into manner tame
With rabbits caught not long before.

They saw the tent of Mana’s chief,
The tent Akamu dwelled within–-
It sat atop a hill alone
With fire smoke up stretching thin.
Then nervous fear struck ev’ry bone
Of Hokulani, only brief,
As Ikaika led the way.

He challenged great Akamu strong
And both began a battle vile
With striking hands and feet and knives
Which all intended to defile
The pride of both warriors’ lives.
So harsh the battle was, and long,
And bleeding into sunset’s red.

Then Hokulani found the loom
And took it out beneath the sky.
Though it was strung, all thread was gone
And all cocoons had long gone by.
She appealed to a spider throng,
Whose webs were shining in the moon;
They gave their webs to her to twine.

But what to weave into the stars
To battle bull and tribe alike?
The wolf and bear were strong with might,
And lion easily could strike.
But only one could face the plight
And overcome all evil bars–-
Only one could rise above all.

With one great thrust, Akamu fell
And Ikaika triumph gained.
And looking up outside the tent,
Up where the evil bull once reigned,
There was a hunter, bowstring bent,
Bestowing peace to evil quell.
And Hokulani smiled wide.

It was late one day in summer
In the middle of the meadow
In the midst of tall green grasses
In a glaze of sunlight yellow
In the camp where yearly passes
Fervent beats of steady drummers
When Hokulani wove the stars.

* * *


Maia Jacomus is 23 years old, and recently graduated with a BFA in English (Professional Writing emphasis). She enjoys writing poetry, short stories, novellas, novels and plays. Some of her favorite authors are Jane Austen, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Gail Carson Levine, Tamora Pierce, and William Shakespeare. Aside from reading and writing, her hobbies include painting, playing Nintendo and World of Warcraft, and theatre.

Where do you get the ideas for your stories?

Ideas for my stories come from everywhere, and most of the time, when I’m not looking for them. My inspiration for “Empress Regnant,” for example, came from watching the smoke rise from my incense burner. Sometimes, I also like to listen to instrumental music and conjure a story from the mood and rhythm of the music.

Empress Regnant

Empress Regnant
by Maia Jacomus

“I still say that runt Padishah Sedha killed Emperor Anil.” Fadir had been saying the same thing for ten years, and always just after praying at the family’s home shrine.

“Yes, dear,” his wife, Lasani, droned, not looking away from her embroidery.

“The sages were probably in on it, too, I bet. Wanted their share.”

Lasani sighed and set her embroidery on her lap. “He died naturally, dear. There were no marks of any kind on him. Now, for the final time, let it be. Whatever the cause, there is nothing to be done about it now.”

A young woman drifted into the room, dark eyes downcast as she entered the shrine. Fadir closed the door for her, then instinctively looked to his wife, awaiting the beginning of another familiar argument.

“We are telling her today,” Lasani said resolutely, picking up her embroidery and focusing as if no more conversation would follow.

“No, not today.”

“As soon as she comes out of there, I am going to tell her.”

He bent down over her to meet her eyes and stress, “Not today.

“She is twenty-six. It is past time she knew.”

* * *


No matter how hard she tried, Kumari couldn’t pray. She would kneel down on the damask pillow and stare into the ruby eyes of the golden idol, trying desperately to explain to herself why it looked so familiar. In her mind, she pictured it three times as big and adorned with colorful silk. And the musk-scented incense, though fulfilling, was thicker and stronger than she thought it should be. She gazed into the idol’s darkly shining eyes until her parents’ argument reached its peak and snapped her from her meditation.

Emerging from the shrine, she halted as the two immediately fell silent and looked at her as though she were a lotus blossom dropping its petals.

“What?” she asked the two in wonder. Although that same look bombarded her every day, it still made her nervously twirl her long black hair between her fingers each time it loomed.

Fadir turned to Lasani, lifting his brow. She opened her mouth, but then clamped it shut and returned the brow raise. Finally, Kumari had had enough.

“For the past five years, you two have been doing that dance,” she said. “This time, please, end your silent duel and say what it is you are thinking; I have no patience anymore!”

Lasani reached for her embroidery, but Fadir swiped the cloth from her, his eyes stern.

“Kumari, dove...” she began. But she could not make the other words follow. As if to gather her courage, she rose from her seat and approached her daughter, taking her hands. “It is nothing important,” she finally said.

Fadir nodded, grinning warmly. “Nothing important.”

“It must be. You both have been mulling over it for years. And it obviously concerns me. What is it?”

Fadir opened his mouth to speak, but his wife interrupted.

“It is about the sari I have been embroidering,” Lasani said, unfurling the gold-colored fabric. “I have been embroidering it all these years. And...what it is...the problem, I mean...Every year, I mean to finish it, but I cannot manage to. Every year, I wonder about telling you that it is for you, you see...It was meant as a gift, a surprise...But it has taken more time to make than I anticipated. Even now, it has yet to be finished.”

Everyone in the household knew how sensitive Lasani was regarding her embroidery. Fadir and Kumari used to tease her about her meticulousness. They would always look over her shoulder as she worked and remark on her slow progress, snickering every time she pulled out a stitch with a fault that neither of them could see. There was no way Kumari could combat her mother’s declaration.

Kumari approached her mother and ran her fingers along the delicate, extravagant gold embroidery, tracing the petal of a flower bud. She smiled in admiration. “It is beautiful, mother. Your best work.”

“You will not chide me for working so slowly?”

“Of course not. The slow pace reaps the best possible quality. It is good that you so take pride in your work, mother.”

Lasani and Fadir exchanged cunning smiles, having eluded their daughter’s prying. And as Kumari left to prepare for bed, the couple decided never to bring up the subject again.

* * *


“Into the stable!”

The unusual greeting jerked Kumari from sleep. Before her eyes could focus, her father gripped her wrist and pulled her out of bed.

“Am I allowed to change first?” she asked.

Fadir didn’t seem hear her, and she knew better than to question him. Stumbling out into a grey morning, she tried to keep up as her father led her to the stable and opened the gate to the cow’s stall.

“Get in,” he commanded.

She did so, approaching the cow. “Do you want me to milk her?”

“No, just sit down in the corner. Do not move, do not make any noise, not until I return.”

Before she could further rebut, he closed and locked the stable gate.

The musty odor of hay and the low moaning of the cattle surrounded Kumari as she sat in the far corner, trying to think of why her father was behaving so strangely. Unable to sort it out, she laid back on the hay and stared at the cracks of light piercing through the roof, trying to find which clusters resembled star constellations. There was one near the apex that reminded her of Ibis Flight.

* * *


The starry Ibis hovered over her. It was her only comfort, her only protection in the empty, silent, trampled rice field she found herself in. The chilling wind hardened the mud which covered her sari and face. She was crying, but she couldn’t remember why. And upon seeing the unfamiliar surroundings, her fear mounted into sobs.

“Hello?” Her voice wavered with uncertainty.

She unstuck herself from the muddy ground and rose to her feet to look around for something--anything--familiar. But the darkness of the night dimmed her view. The only familiarity was that same Ibis above her.

“Help me!” she cried, shouting as loudly as she could in a desperate attempt to reach the ears of the heavenly bird. “Please help me!”

A light flared, small from the distance. She stopped crying and held her breath in anticipation of what the light would bring. She heard a shout, “Who is there?”

Trusting in this miracle from the Ibis, she opened her mouth to reply, only then realizing that she didn’t know her name. “Please help me!” was all she could manage before fear brought tears to her eyes again. She sat in the mud for what seemed like a small eternity; the cold numbering her skin, and the mud drying in heavy clusters on her limbs. At last, someone approached her and said in a kind, sympathetic voice,

“Oh, you poor dear!”


* * *


Kumari shook herself from the memory, suddenly rising.

“There’s one!”

Looking up, she saw a man peering over the stall gate. She rose and looked out to see, sitting on their lawn, a barred wagon full of young women. A handful of armed men stood near it, the royal symbol of a golden tiger on each of their tunics. The one who stood at the gate fumbled to unlock it. She climbed onto the cow’s back, then tried carefully not to step on the hem of her night robe as she slowly stood. The gate swung open, clanging against the stall fence. It was Kumari’s signal to jump from the cow and onto the fence. Before she could lose her balance, she leapt and caught hold of the rafter above. She could feel the soldier trying to grasp the hem of her night robe.

“Come down!” he ordered.

Feeling her grip slipping, she swung herself forward, grabbed the rope that opened the grain chute, and slid down, burning her hands along the way. The soldier who had left the stall to pursue her rushed toward her and slipped on the spilled grain.

After briefly trying to shake off the pain of her burnt hands, she ran to the bull’s pen, unlatched the gate, and slapped him on his back. The bull bleated loudly and bolted off into the mass of soldiers, his long, curved horns ahead of him. While the other soldiers scattered, the one who had slipped got back on his feet and threw his arms around her. She shouted and cried, she kicked furiously, but another soldier came to help detain her as the two dragged her to the wagon. The commotion summoned Lasani and Fadir from the house, and the two dashed into the mass of soldiers. Lasani begged with them to release their daughter, and Fadir tried tearing them away, but the other soldiers kept them at bay, having managed to slay the raging bull.


Forced into the wagon and locked inside, Kumari stared out one of the barred windows, reaching her hand out toward her parents. They tried to take it, but the wagon began to wheel away, the soldiers following on their horses. Kumari watched, vision blurry with tears, as the wagon took her from her home. The last thing she saw before she was pulled far from the sight was the once-mighty bull, lying dead on the ground with its glossy black eyes staring back at her.

* * *


Once her sobs calmed, Kumari spoke with some of the other women to learn what she could of the situation. Her hunches were correct: they were being harvested for Padishah Sedha. Since the emperor’s death, and the disappearance of his heir, the only one worthy to rule was Padishah Sedha, the then-young cousin of the emperor. The people of Rudjosai all knew full well about his ambitions to conquer the neighboring realm, Ghadhala, and everyone feared going to war. Fortunately for them, a law existed which dictated that when the royal blood line was exhausted and a new one took over, the first new member of the royal family must be constantly advised by a council of sages, and nothing could be done without their approval. The harvesting of young women was one of the few allowances he had in which the sages had no say, so naturally he employed it whenever possible. Despite how badly her burnt hands stung, she felt somewhat grateful for the scars; having such a physical flaw could save her from being chosen.

Once they arrived at the palace, they were herded inside to a small chamberBa servant’s quarters with only two chairs for thirty women. Some of them talked excitedly about possibly being with a Padishah. Others, like Kumari, stared at the dim torches and the stone walls, praying to every god they knew that they would be home again by the end of the day. They were shut inside the room for three hours until finally the door opened and a soldier instructed them to line up in the hallway. Kumari leaned back against the wall with her head bowed, trying to become invisible.

“His Imperial Highness, Padishah Sedha,” the soldier announced.

There he stood, at the end of the hallway, a magnificent figure: he was bare-chested, wearing a long jacket and pants, both of rich, purple silk and embroidered with gold. His red velvet shoes had soles of real gold, which emitted a commanding, bone-shivering clank as he walked. His long black hair was braided back with a golden ribbon, and though he was fiercely handsome, his dark eyes flared like black flames. Kumari stared at him in fascination until the clank of his shoes twitched her head back down to stare at her bare feet.

Clang. “Too old.” Though his voice was low, it was clear as two swords striking each other. Clang. “Too plain.” Clang. “This one is pregnant, you idiot!” Clang.

Kumari’s heart pounded harder and faster as she heard him approach. She bit her lip and winced at every clank of his shoes.

“Too young.” Clang. “The eyes are too close together.” Clang!

A shadow fell across her feet. Kumari couldn’t move. A hand covered with rings lifted her chin. She stared into Sedha’s eyes, and the Padishah stared back. After a moment, his glance traveled up her face and rested on the mole above her right eyebrow.

“This one,” he said. “Send the rest away.”

A soldier ushered Kumari to another room on the second floor; one of the royal bedchambers, so filled with plush cushions and flamboyant silk drapery that it was like the inside a cloud set in a twilight sky. Three female attendants worked to dress her, groom her, and paint her face. By the time she looked in the glass, she could hardly recognize herself; dressed in a deep red sari with golden sandals, dripping with gold necklaces and jeweled rings. A ruby pin held up her finely-combed hair, kohl outlined her eyes, and her face glowed with blush and carmine lip color. She felt so weighed down by fabric and jewelry that she could sink into the ground. A doctor then entered to spread salve on her hands and wrap them in soft, white linen. No sooner was she made ready than Sedha came into the room, all five of the sages in tow. Seeing her, he smiled triumphantly.

“Just as I thought.” He approached her and took her hand. Something about his touch made her jump. He then turned to the sages and declared, “Behold: Princess Nadi, daughter of former emperor Anil, and heir to the Rudjosai Empire.” Then, turning back to her, he added, “And my betrothed.”

Kumari dropped his hand and backed away in alarm. The sages crowded around her, examining her face, many of them pointing out the definitive mole above her eyebrow and also stating the resemblance of the nose and the posture. They smiled and remarked how happy they were to see her alive and well, how much she had grown, how they had worried about her.

“Stop! Please, stop!” she cried. Though she had always had difficulty remembering her childhood, she had no suspicion of having ever been royalty.

“Where have you been, Your Highness?” one sage asked. “Were you abducted? By whom?”

“No, I...”

“Were you in hiding from your father’s assassin?”

“No.”

“Did you run away?”

“Stop! No, I am not who you think I am! I come from Rishti Village. My father is a cattle farmer.”

The sages murmured among themselves. “That settles it,” one concluded. “Loss of memory.”

“Maybe even hypnosis,” suggested another.

Sedha looked at her with a furrowed brow. “Do you not know yourself? Do you not know me?”

She was afraid to answer at first, but something in his eyes calmed her. “I know I am a farmer’s daughter, and that you are the Padishah.”

He shook his head. “When you were born, your parents and my parents agreed that we
would marry once we became of age. You were Princess Nadi then. And whatever you have been these past ten years, you are Princess Nadi once again.”

Kumari’s eyes passed from one person to the next until she sank onto her round bed.
“But it cannot be,” she whispered. “How can that be? How—when I cannot remember anything of it at all, when nothing looks familiar?”

His voice calm, Sedha offered his hand to her again. “Come with me. Do not be afraid.”

Hesitantly, she accepted his hand and let him lead her out of the room. A few doors away, the hallway opened up into a larger hall where generations of family portraits were carved into a large fresco. The family line was traced through a forest with leaping tigers separating one generation from another. At the very end was a portrait of Emperor Anil, Empress Consort Pagni, and the Princess. Although the Princess was a child, Kumari had the chilling feeling that she was looking into a mirror. And, sure enough, the Princess had the same mole above her right eyebrow.

Above all, looking at the late emperor’s face, she felt a twinge of recognition.

Empress Regnant


Kumari and Sedha were married that night. In spite of how everything still felt awkward to her, seeing that portrait convinced her that it was the life she was meant to have. Sedha behaved nothing like Fadir described: he was caring, attentive, and charming. And every time she was near him, she felt a rush of feeling that could not be denied.

For many days, she would go to the portrait fresco after the midday meal, sit across from the portrait of her family, and stare for hours into the eyes of her father, waiting for her past to catch up with her. And though no recollections surfaced, it gave her time to think. On the seventh day, she had an epiphany.

Of course, she thought. I was kidnapped by Fadir; it makes absolute sense. For years, they always acted so strangely, as if they were hiding some secret. And they always spoke so badly of the Padishah, the one person alive who could identify me!

Although it fit with her theory, she refused to believe that Fadir or Lasani could have assassinated Emperor Anil. At dinner that night, when Sedha asked his usual question about her progress in recovering her memories, she answered her usual reply, “Nothing yet,” for fear that mentioning her foster parents’ names would lead to them being punished.

* * *


A week after their marriage, Kumari and Sedha had to endure the formality of a crowning ceremony. Since they were married, they were eligible for their full titles: Emperor Sedha and Empress Consort Nadi. In celebration of the Princess’s return, their marriage, and their crowning, the sages arranged for them to throw a large party, inviting all the nobility of Rudjosai to attend.

The party was hosted in the imperial gardens at night, among the orange trees, the plumeria blooms, and the crystal teal fountains. Sedha took her by the arm and introduced her to every guest, each exclaiming how good it was to see her again.

But no matter how much they seemed to know her, not one of them had a place in her memory. She separated from the party at her first opportunity, ran into another part of the garden, laid on a stone bench, and found Ibis Flight in the night sky.

She felt, just for a moment, that she was Kumari, a cattle farmer’s daughter, lying in the hay loft.

“I am sorry if you have been overwhelmed.”

Sitting up, she saw Sedha walking toward her, his soles like chimes singing against the stone pathway. He sat on the opposite end of the bench, allowing some distance between them.

“I have been anxious for you to remember everything, but perhaps I have been pushing you too hard,” he continued.

She nodded. “It is a lot to take in, but...I have been anxious, too. I thought of praying to the gods for help, but...” She chuckled slightly. “This palace is so large, that I have yet to find the shrine.”

For a moment, silence fell between them. They listened to the dull roar of the party guests and the faint musical hum of the drums and the stringed veena. In the midst of it, she dared to move closer to him and lean her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her. A tear fell down her cheek.

“I still cannot remember you,” she said. “Yet I do remember loving you.”

* * *


Two days after the party, Kumari assumed her usual position in front of her family portrait. She was slowly beginning to remember her father--the way he smiled, the way he laughed, the way he scolded her--but nothing more. When her eyes became tired, she decided to wander the palace again, to explore undiscovered rooms. There was one room tucked away next to the library with a door displaying the image of a god. Finally, she had found the shrine. She opened the door and walked onto a floor tiled with ivory. The walls were covered with pure white tapestries. Sitting in the middle of the shrine was a stand on which the golden idol was displayed; three times larger than the one at her previous home, and adorned with colorful silk. She knelt down on the silk pillow, kissing the floor in reverence.

“Please forgive me,” she whispered. As soon as she had said it, she wondered why.

Slowly raising her head, she spied a gilded incense stand with an unlit stick, and her heart leapt in alarm at the sight of it. Fighting the inexplicable urge to leave, she breathed deeply to calm herself enough to begin prayer. She focused on the ruby gaze of the idol and opened her mouth to pray, when a flash across the jeweled eyes suddenly struck her, and she became engulfed in a memory.

“I cannot do it,” Princess Nadi said. She clutched a gilded incense stand in which Sedha had lodged an incense stick.

“He threatened to break the betrothal,” Sedha said. “If you do not do this, then we have no chance of happiness. The apothecary promised me that it will be entirely painless.”

Trembling and holding back tears, Nadi walked down the hall to the shrine and switched its incense with hers.

She sat up in her room, watching the sun from her window to determine the time. Mere minutes passed until she burst out of her bedchamber and ran down the stairs to the shrine. Opening the door, she found her father lying lifeless on the floor in a cloud of incense smoke. She cried out in anguish, collapsing to the floor in tears.


* * *


A number of soldiers immediately dashed through the halls, searching for the source of the loud cry. Turning the corner toward the shrine, they found Kumari on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. They asked her what was wrong, but she couldn’t speak through the tears. Moments later, Sedha appeared. Seeing her kneeling down just outside the shrine, he immediately knew what was wrong. He helped her to her feet and hurried her away from the soldiers before she could speak. Sitting her down in a private study, he embraced her and spoke soothingly.

“It was for the best, Nadi,” he said. “We had no choice.”

“I killed him,” she gasped. “I remember everything now. After I put the sudaj incense in the shrine, I walked away, but I realized that I just could not allow it to happen. I tried to go back and retrieve the incense, but it was too late.” Nadi wiped her falling tears on her linen-wrapped hands. “I was so scared and ashamed that I just started running. When I got tired of running, I fell asleep. And when I woke, I found myself in a rice field and had forgotten everything. I killed him; I killed my father.”

“But we are together now, just as we wanted.”

“Yes; of course I wanted it. But not that way.”

* * *


Lasani continued her embroidery in silence. Fadir sat in his chair in the corner of the room, rocking uneasily and staring at the fire. Just as his eyes began to burn from the fire's heat, he leapt to his feet.

“It has been too long,” he decided. “I have to go after her.”

“If you try, you will not even make it into the courtyard. I already lost a daughter; I do not want to also lose a husband.”

“I have to at least try! She was taken to Sedha; she could be in danger!”

“What makes you think ill the Padishah?”

“You mean besides the way he abducts our daughters for his own pleasure?” Trying to calm himself, he pulled his chair over near his wife and sat down. “There is something I have never told either of you, because I did not want to frighten you. Well...beyond the things I would already say.”

“About the Padishah?”

“I was herding a number of cattle to the city market. This was ten years ago. The Padisha was shopping with his guards as I was there. I was surprised to see the Padishah doing his own shopping, but did not think much of it at the time. He bought one of the cattle for beef, and ordered that I take it to the palace. And as I waited for someone to receive my knock at the back gate, someone else joined me in waiting.

“‘Delivery for the Padishah?’ I asked.

“‘Yes, in fact,’ he said.

“‘What is your trade?’ I asked. I was only trying to make friendly conversation.

“‘Apothecary,’ he said.

“‘Oh, interesting,’ I said, though I did not actually think it was interesting. ‘What are you delivering, then?’

“‘Incense,’ he said. I thought it was strange that an apothecary would sell incense.

“‘What kind?’ I asked. He did not say anything, just knocked on the door again. I thought he was getting irritated with my small talk, so I stopped.”

“I wish you would stop,” Lasani interrupted. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“As he knocked on the door, something fell out of his sleeve; a packet of incense sticks. And there was an ink emblem on the packet...”

* * *


Since Nadi had recovered her memories and her self, the sages were no longer necessary as a council. They were merely advisors, and so Sedha and Nadi had regained full power. Sedha’s first action as full Emperor was to prepare the army to conquer Ghadhala. But Nadi rebutted him.

“Not only is this unnecessary,” she said, “but our people have no desire to go to war. To force them to do so would cost us their loyalty.”

Sedha shook his head. “I respect your feelings for our people, Nadi. But I think living as a farmer’s daughter for ten years has made you too attached to them. Think of how much stronger we will be when we expand our empire and rule it side-by-side.”
“Why wait for an expansion?” she asked. “Let us start now; ruling side-by-side. And let us start by discussing action besides war.”

“I want to give you the world,” he protested.

“The world is too costly, even for an emperor. Even if we win, we will still lose our people in the fight. If we lose, our entire kingdom will be lost. Be happy with what you have; I am.”

But he still would not back down. After days of debating the subject, Nadi decided to include the problem in her prayers as she made her daily visit to the shrine. Though it took some time to return to the scene of her sin, she was determined to meditate there every day and to pray for forgiveness for what she had done to her father.

While she prayed, she inhaled the soft, sweet scent of sandalwood and frangipani that burned from the incense stick. It smelled different--there was an extra scent that she couldn’t quite place. And the more she thought about it, the dizzier and foggier her mind became. The ruby eyes of the idol flashed, drawing her from the spell.

Now she recognized the smell.

She tried to stand, but her legs gave out beneath her. Falling to her stomach, she tried to crawl across the slick, ivory floor. In one desperate reach, she grasped the door handle and pulled it open. She laid across the threshold and tried to inhale the clean air. Her breath came sharply at first, then slowly began to ease.

Clang. Clang. Clang. Looking up from the ground, she saw Sedha kneeling before her. He lifted her chin, his eyes full of remorse. She reached up and grasped his hand, quirking a half-smile.

“You came back,” she said. “You could not go through with it.”

He kissed her and stroked her hair. “Yes, I came back.” Then he grabbed her by the arm, pulled her to her feet, thrust her back into the shrine, and held the door shut. “I knew you would escape,” he added.

Nadi flung herself at the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “Why are you doing this?”
“For the good of the empire, Nadi. You will not allow it to grow.”

Having no luck with the door, she turned around, tore the incense stick from its mount, and crushed it beneath her sandal. Still, the existing smoke that shrouded the room began to cloud her mind again. She continued talking, trying to stay concious. “That was all you ever wanted from the start; you wanted to kill...my father to assume power, and...you needed me to grant you full power. Now...that you have it, you can be rid...of me.”

“You must understand, Nadi, that I do love you, and always have.”

“But not enough!”

When Sedha opened the door, Nadi was motionless on the floor. He bent down and kissed her forehead, then slipped out of the room, sure that someone would find her by the time he woke the next morning.

* * *


The morning sunlight streamed into the room as the servant drew the curtains open. The sudden light woke Sedha from his uneasy sleep. What he saw upon opening his eyes made him jump: his bed was surrounded by soldiers, all brandishing their scimitars.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

The assembly parted, and Nadi approached his bed, dressed in a gold sari with golden embroidery. “Arrest him,” she ordered.

“I am your Emperor,” Sedha protested. “She is just a woman.”

“You are charged with the murder of Emperor Anil and attempted murder of the Empress.”

You murdered the emperor!”

You did! It was your doing! And I have the proof of it!”

“What proof?”

A handful of soldiers brought forth an elderly man wearing a plain tunic and apron.

“This man has confessed to selling sudaj incense to you,” Nadi said. “That same incense was in the shrine where the Emperor was found dead and where I was found unconscious.”

Their eyes pierced one another. Finally, Sedha presented his hands to be shackled by the nearest soldier, who immediately took him and the apothecary away. But before he was out of sight, Nadi added, “And this is for the good of the kingdomBall for the best.”

“Is he to be executed?” one of the soldiers asked as Sedha was being taken away.

“He will serve a life sentence, in a dungeon cell,” Nadi replied. “I have no desire to be a murderer.”

The hall cleared as the guards escorted the prisoners along. Nadi was left alone until she beckoned to two people who had been hidden in the room next door; Fadir and Lasani. The three embraced each other with all their collective strength.
“I knew I could trust you,” Nadi said. “I knew the second I returned home.”

“When you walked through the door,” Lasani began, “dressed as you were, I thought I would faint!”

“I hardly recognized you with all that paint on your face,” Fadir added.

“Thank you both so much,” Nadi said. “And thank you for the sari; it was worth the wait.”

“You wear it so well, dove.”

Nadi smiled, feeling truly at home in the palace at last. “I want you both to stay here with me. You took me in and gave me a home, and now, I wish to do the same for you.”

The couple looked around at their grand surroundings with uncertainty. “You are the Empress now,” Lasani said. “We do not fit together anymore.”

“I am still Kumari,” Nadi said. “I was then, I am now, and I will always be. And I would still like to be a part of your family.”

The couple had no reply but to once again embrace their foster daughter.

* * *


Once again, Nadi sat across from her family portrait. She looked on the mother she never knew, the father she had murdered, and her child self she had once forgotten.

A new portrait had been carved on the wall next to her family; it was of a young woman, and no one else: a young woman with the red mark of marriage on her forehead, with her father’s seal ring on her healed hands, with her mother’s bold, beautiful eyes, and with a golden sari. The portrait was captioned by a gold engraving below:

Empress Regnant Nadi


Jacomus


Maia Jacomus is 23 years old, and recently graduated with a BFA in English (Professional Writing emphasis). She enjoys writing poetry, short stories, novellas, novels and plays. Some of her favorite authors are Jane Austen, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Gail Carson Levine, Tamora Pierce, and William Shakespeare. Aside from reading and writing, her hobbies include painting, playing Nintendo and World of Warcraft, and theatre.

Where do you get the ideas for your stories?

Ideas for my stories come from everywhere, and most of the time, when I’m not looking for them. My inspiration for “Empress Regnant,” for example, came from watching the smoke rise from my incense burner. Sometimes, I also like to listen to instrumental music and conjure a story from the mood and rhythm of the music.